How to Handle Aging Parents Who Expect Too Much

In an ideal world, we could perfectly compartmentalize our caregiving duties, sticking to a routine that met the needs of a loved one, while enabling enough time necessary to handle our myriad of other responsibilities. But of course, life does not adhere to our desired script, and conflicting needs are common when caring for an older adult. Many seniors balk at the need for help, while others can come to rely too greatly on an adult child, leading to unfulfilled expectations and ultimately disappointment for both parties.

Generations at Home’s senior care experts provide the following tips to help explain objectives and communicate effectively:

Focus on empathy. Rather than drawing away from a senior loved one whose expectations seem unreasonable, pause and empathize. Think through the problems your senior loved one is facing, and how it would feel to be in his or her shoes. Then voice your genuine concern and desire to help.
Permit each other to be heard. Initiate a dialogue with your loved one, encouraging her or him to talk about how it feels to be in need of care, and what type of care is necessary. Determine what the senior’s expectations are, and then share your own expectations and limitations in being able to fully meet his or her needs.
Compromise to arrive at a solution. Finding a resolution that works well for both of you might be easier than you think. For example, if the senior expects assistance with transportation in accordance with a particular schedule several times a week, perhaps you can provide that assistance one day, while recruiting assistance from others to cover additional days. This allows for improved socialization for the older adult as well as the healthy life balance you need.

Generations at Home is available to partner with family caregivers with highly skilled, carefully matched care experts who are passionate about making life the very best it can be for older adults. Working together with Generations at Home enables adult children to ensure their aging parents are well taken care of all of the time, whether by filling in with respite care where needed, through around-the-clock live-in care, or a variety of solutions in between. Just some of the countless ways we can help include: