Are you guilty of hovering too closely over your senior parents when it comes to home healthcare?
We’ve all known helicopter parents, particularly when a son or daughter goes off to college. The fact is, we might be guilty of hovering a tad too closely ourselves. Discovering that appropriate balance between caring and overstepping our boundaries is not very easy.
And now, due to the added number of sandwich generationers providing care for both aging parents and children, we’re at risk of acquiring an additional badge of overbearingness: that of a helicopter child. It’s not uncommon for adult children to find themselves slipping into a role reversal in regard to their senior parents, with the very best of intentions, of course; obviously, we would like to keep our loved ones safe. Nevertheless, this could lead senior loved ones to feel indignant, upset, or frustrated at their newfound loss of control.
If you believe you are infringing on your elderly parent’s rights and sense of self-worth and control, here is insight on how to come in for a landing, and resolve to step in only when absolutely necessary.
Discuss expectations. Engage your parent in a conversation about aging expectations, and exactly how she would want you to help with obtaining those goals. For example, in the event the senior were to be diagnosed with dementia, would the personal preference be to move into an assisted living facility, or stay at home with support? If the senior were to fall, necessitating surgery or rehabilitation, how would she picture her healing experience? Would she be happy getting assistance with personal care tasks, including bathing and using the toilet, from you or from a skilled caregiver?
Speak up when necessary. When safety is jeopardized, it is crucial to step in, keeping a respectful, collaborative mind-set. The objective is to ensure that the senior preserves as much self-sufficiency as is feasible. If she’s hesitant to accept assistance or even to make prudent decisions, such as using a walker when needed to avoid a fall, it may be beneficial to enlist the help of her medical doctor or a geriatric care manager to offer suggestions.
Otherwise, step back. If you want to control circumstances that are not affecting the senior’s health or safety, and she is cognitively still capable of making her own decisions, it is far better to let those concerns go. “A child should be sensitive to a parent’s need for self-determination and maintaining self-identity,” shares Barry Jacobs, clinical psychologist and author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers: Looking After Yourself and Your Family While Helping Aging Parents.
Get in contact with Generations at Home at 727-940-3414 for expert senior care assistance which is always geared towards ensuring as much independence as possible for senior loved ones, permitting family caregivers the opportunity to step back and give their parents the independence that they need while remaining safe.
