Follow This Checklist After the Death of a Loved One

 in , , , , , , , by
sad-senior-lady-holding-photo-looking-out-window-after-loss

After the death of a loved one, it can be difficult to know what to do next.

After losing a loved one, the last thing you want to do is complete a list of to-dos. The pain and loss alone are overwhelming enough. Taking the time to sort out your grief is very important. Yet there are, unfortunately, a number of tasks that need to be taken care of, at various intervals after the person’s passing.

To help ease this process, we have put together a straightforward checklist and timeline of items to address.

What Do I Need to Do After My Loved One Passes Away?

Just after death:

• Obtain the legal pronouncement of death by a medical professional. In a nursing home or hospital, this will automatically be taken care of. In the case of death at home, call 911 for transport to the hospital for the pronouncement.

• Notify friends and family. Use whatever method is most comfortable for you. You can contact one individual and ask them to spread the word, or it could be more cathartic for you to speak with each individual yourself. Use email or social media if that works for you. There’s no right or wrong way to accomplish this.

• Contact the funeral home of your choice (or, if final wishes were preplanned, your loved one’s choice) to advise them of the death.

Within a few days:

• Work with the funeral home, the individual’s religious organization, and, if applicable, the Veterans’ Administration, to finalize plans for the service.

• Determine who you would like to assist with funeral-related tasks, such as writing the obituary, helping with thank-you notes, serving as pallbearers, and making arrangements for a post-funeral gathering.

• Lock up any valuables in the home and remove any perishable food.

• Make long-term arrangements for any pets.

• Contact the post office for a forwarding order for the person’s mail.

In two weeks:

• Obtain ten copies of the individual’s death certificate (or, ask the funeral home to manage this for you).

• Close the person’s email account, and either close or memorialize their social media account(s).

• Take a copy of the will to your city or county probate court office to begin the process of ensuring the person’s wishes outlined within the will are followed and that all outstanding debts are resolved.

• Notify the Social Security Administration, bank and financial advisors, life insurance company, a credit bureau such as Equifax, and the DMV. Most of these organizations will need a copy of the death certificate.

• Speak with an attorney to discuss estate settlement.

• Contact a CPA to arrange for a final tax return to be filed.

• Locate the person’s will and determine who the executor is.

• Make a list of all assets and bills, and cancel accounts: electric, phone, internet, streaming services, etc.

Generations at Home is here to assist you through this difficult time, especially if the person leaves behind an elderly spouse. Our caregivers can step in to fill any gaps in care while you take care of the many final tasks and arrangements needed. Reach out to us any time at 727-940-3414 for assistance.

Caregiver Anger: The Emotion You May Not Have Expected

 in , , by

If you were to list the top five emotions you experience in meeting the care needs of your aging parents, what would they be? Maybe you would first think of emotions like compassion, love, and sometimes, even frustration or stress. Would anger make the list? In many cases, though family care providers would not wish to disclose it, the answer is a resounding YES. Caregiver anger is common for many family caregivers.

The truth is that a large number of adult children grapple with the fact that their parents are growing older. Growing up, our parents might have exuded strength, health, and control, giving us an underlying impression that they would always be there for us. Watching a decline in their health shatters that idea, which may leave us feeling disillusioned, let down, fearful, anxious, and yes – angry.

As the tables turn and aging parents become the ones in need of care, family dynamics can become complicated. And the negative stereotype within our culture towards aging informs us that growing older is something we need to resist or deny – something that can have an effect on how both aging adults and their adult children handle age-related decline.

Add to that the compounded stress experienced by people who are part of the sandwich generation – taking care of children at home and aging parents simultaneously. Nearly one in three adults with senior parents believe their parents require some amount of care along with emotional support.

So, how might you shift to a more positive mindset?

The most crucial step is coming to a place of acceptance. Laura Cartensen, Stanford University psychology professor and director of the Center on Longevity, explains, “The issue is less about avoiding the inevitable and more about living satisfying lives with limitations. Accepting aging and mortality can be liberating.”

Honest, open communication is also important. Family caretakers and their parents should express their thoughts about what is working well in the relationship, and what needs to be altered. Sometimes just learning the other person’s perspective makes all the difference. For instance, a senior parent may exhibit irritation with being reminded to put on his/her glasses. An appropriate response might be to clarify the reason for the reminders – because of a concern that the parent may fall, for example. A compromise can then be reached.

Focusing on the quality time your caregiving role gives you with your senior parents, while balancing your parents’ needs with your own, is key. Among the best ways to achieve this is by selecting a dependable care partner to help. Connect with Generations at Home at 727-940-3414 to learn more.

Tips to Help Overcome Family Caregiver Dread

 in , , , by

caregiver in deep thoughtWhat are your first thoughts as soon as you wake up each morning? Are you looking forward to what the day holds, or would you like to crawl back underneath the covers and stay there? If you are feeling more dread than delight as you think through your family caregiver responsibilities for the day, you’re not the only one.

Distinctly different from anxiety, depression, or even burnout, caregiver dread is an exhausted, heavy feeling of obligation. It stems from feelings of overcommitment as well as the need to escape from obligations. While possible to push through and carry out necessary tasks in spite of these feelings, there are methods to conquer them instead – and regain the joy that comes from making life better for someone you love. For starters, try these techniques:

  • Release the guilt. Meeting the caregiving needs of someone can feel unimpactful, mundane, and simply downright tough. It takes selflessness, which can feel burdening. Yet dreading the daily tasks you’re requested to do by no means reflects the way you feel about your senior loved one. Acknowledge to yourself that your role is not easy, and it’s okay to wish you could be doing something different.
  • Intentionally search for joy. The tiny pleasures each day holds may be diminished by the difficulties. Make the effort every morning to identify five small things that make you smile. Keep a journal of each day’s finds and refer back to it at the end of each week. Engage all of your senses while you seek out the day’s joys: the smell of freshly baked cookies; the beauty of the sunset; the sound of your cat purring; the invigorating feeling of a hot shower.
  • Set boundaries. Designate time every day to spend on pursuits that you enjoy independent of the senior in your care. Plan and look forward to this time when your caregiving tasks start to weigh you down. A dependable care partner is vital to make sure nothing interferes with the important time of taking care of yourself.

Remind yourself that the work you’re doing in caring for your loved one is vitally important. Yet also keep in mind that nobody can do it all, and in order to provide the most effective care for the senior and for yourself, frequent breaks from care tasks are needed.

Connect with Generations at Home’s aging care experts at 727-940-3414 to arrange for regular Pinellas Park respite care services and release the burden of caregiving dread. We’re here for as much or as little assistance as you need to help you enjoy quality time along with an aging loved one and also to rediscover joy in your own life as well. Reach out to us today to find out if our expert respite care services are available in your community.

Top Tips for Managing Stress for Caregivers

 in , , by

senior man relaxing and listening to headphonesStress is inevitable, and actually, not necessarily always a bad thing. After all, as the saying goes, “A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well.” Yet especially when managing stress for family caregivers, it can quickly escalate and become overwhelming, and if not managed effectively, lead to serious health concerns.

Try these tips to minimize stress and achieve a healthier and more relaxed lifestyle – both for yourself and those you love:

  • Change your self-talk. Throughout the course of your day, you may find yourself entertaining thoughts such as, “I can’t do this!” or “Everything is going wrong!” Pause when negative thinking begins to intrude, and say to yourself instead, “I can handle this, one step at a time,” or “Help is available to me whenever I need it.”
  • Take a break. Deescalate stress through any or all of the following techniques:
    • Breathe deeply (inhale to a count of 4; hold for a count of 4; exhale to a count of 4; hold for a count of 4; repeat as needed)
    • Take a walk or engage in some other physical activity
    • Pray or meditate
    • Play favorite music
    • Write in a journal
    • Call a friend
  • Try a stress-busting activity. There are a variety of enjoyable activities that can distract your focus away from whatever was causing stress and onto something more positive, such as creating art, reading, playing with pets or children, working in the garden or on a DIY project – the ideas are limitless, and even as little as 10 or 15 minutes spent on the activity can help.

There are even apps specifically created with family caregivers in mind to help reduce stress and restore calm. Find five that are especially helpful here from DailyCaring.

Caregiver stress is particularly common for those who feel as though they have no support system, and have to manage everything independently. Thankfully, we have a solution! Call Generations at Home for a free in-home consultation to learn how we can share in your caregiving duties, allowing you the necessary time away to destress, with services such as:

  • Planning and preparing nutritious meals
  • Assistance with personal care and hygiene
  • Taking care of housekeeping chores and laundry
  • Running errands, such as grocery shopping and picking up prescriptions
  • Accompaniment to medical appointments and enjoyable outings
  • Companionship to brighten each day with stimulating conversations, games, puzzles, hobbies, etc.
  • Medication reminders
  • And so much more

Contact us online or call us at 727-940-3414 and discover how a partner in care can make a world of difference in reducing caregiver stress and restoring a healthy life balance.