Follow This Checklist After the Death of a Loved One

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After the death of a loved one, it can be difficult to know what to do next.

After losing a loved one, the last thing you want to do is complete a list of to-dos. The pain and loss alone are overwhelming enough. Taking the time to sort out your grief is very important. Yet there are, unfortunately, a number of tasks that need to be taken care of, at various intervals after the person’s passing.

To help ease this process, we have put together a straightforward checklist and timeline of items to address.

What Do I Need to Do After My Loved One Passes Away?

Just after death:

• Obtain the legal pronouncement of death by a medical professional. In a nursing home or hospital, this will automatically be taken care of. In the case of death at home, call 911 for transport to the hospital for the pronouncement.

• Notify friends and family. Use whatever method is most comfortable for you. You can contact one individual and ask them to spread the word, or it could be more cathartic for you to speak with each individual yourself. Use email or social media if that works for you. There’s no right or wrong way to accomplish this.

• Contact the funeral home of your choice (or, if final wishes were preplanned, your loved one’s choice) to advise them of the death.

Within a few days:

• Work with the funeral home, the individual’s religious organization, and, if applicable, the Veterans’ Administration, to finalize plans for the service.

• Determine who you would like to assist with funeral-related tasks, such as writing the obituary, helping with thank-you notes, serving as pallbearers, and making arrangements for a post-funeral gathering.

• Lock up any valuables in the home and remove any perishable food.

• Make long-term arrangements for any pets.

• Contact the post office for a forwarding order for the person’s mail.

In two weeks:

• Obtain ten copies of the individual’s death certificate (or, ask the funeral home to manage this for you).

• Close the person’s email account, and either close or memorialize their social media account(s).

• Take a copy of the will to your city or county probate court office to begin the process of ensuring the person’s wishes outlined within the will are followed and that all outstanding debts are resolved.

• Notify the Social Security Administration, bank and financial advisors, life insurance company, a credit bureau such as Equifax, and the DMV. Most of these organizations will need a copy of the death certificate.

• Speak with an attorney to discuss estate settlement.

• Contact a CPA to arrange for a final tax return to be filed.

• Locate the person’s will and determine who the executor is.

• Make a list of all assets and bills, and cancel accounts: electric, phone, internet, streaming services, etc.

Generations at Home is here to assist you through this difficult time, especially if the person leaves behind an elderly spouse. Our caregivers can step in to fill any gaps in care while you take care of the many final tasks and arrangements needed. Reach out to us any time at 727-940-3414 for assistance.

What to Do When a Senior With Dementia No Longer Recognizes You

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Understanding what to do when a senior with dementia no longer recognizes you is important.

You’ve been taking care of Mom since her dementia diagnosis. You’ve been working through many of the challenging symptoms. However one day, she looks at you and calls you by a different name – that of her husband or younger brother or father. Do you correct her, reminding her that you are her son? Should you let it slide, pretending you didn’t notice the mistake? Or, should you just roll with it, accepting the new identity she has given you?

The loss of recognition is among the more distressing effects of dementia on family members. It is hard to look into a loved one’s eyes and receive a blank stare in return, or even to be called by a different name. It is important to set aside your own personal feelings temporarily, however, as you respond to the person. (We will get back to your feelings in a moment!)

Simple tips to Respond to Alzheimer’s Recognition Confusion

First, realize that your tone of voice and attitude are infectious. If you show alarm at the individual’s memory lapse, they will certainly feel dismayed as well, though they will not specifically understand why. Keep a calm, cheerful countenance during your interactions with someone with Alzheimer’s.

Next, reinforce that you know who the individual is. Use their name in your conversations, according to their sense of reality. If they believe you’re a brother or husband, for instance, call them by their first name instead of “Mom.” Try talking about past, familiar anecdotes. Long-term memory remains in place much longer than short-term memory. As a result, the older adult should be able to take part in discussions about their childhood and young adulthood, even when present-day memories have faded.

Finally, make certain you are prioritizing time to take care of yourself and work through the grief that is inherent in being a caregiver for someone with dementia. Though the person is still alive, the abilities and memories they have lost cause grief to those who love them. Talk to a therapist for assistance, and prioritize pastimes you enjoy.

Watching a loved one experience memory loss, including loss of recognition, is heartbreaking. It isn’t possible to “jog” memories lost to dementia by cajoling, prompting, or any other means. The individual is not able to retrieve these lost memories in the same manner someone who has lost their sight is no longer able to see.

The best strategy is always to focus on the strengths and abilities the individual does still have intact, and celebrate those each day. At Generations at Home, our caregivers are specially experienced and trained in creative and positive dementia care techniques. We are always available to provide you with additional resources and tips to assist you and someone you love. Contact us at 727-940-3414 to learn more about our in-home care dementia services and how we are available to assist you during your caregiving journey.

A Guide to Preserving the Relationship While Caring for a Spouse

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Caring for a chronically ill spouse can change routines and expectations, so good communication and support are essential.

If you are in a successful, long-lasting relationship, you recognize that it requires commitment, compromise, and sacrifice. The happiest relationships are the ones where both parties selflessly take care of each other. This balance shifts, however, if the person you love encounters a serious health concern. And this shift into the role of care provider can have a devastating effect on the dynamics of your relationship if you’re not careful.

Naturally, you want to do whatever you can to help when caring for a spouse. Nonetheless, it is important to ensure you’re not losing your romantic connection along the way. Trying to parent your spouse can cause resentment – for both of you. To keep healthy boundaries, keep the following at heart:

  • Enable your partner to remain as independent as possible. While you undoubtedly have the best of intentions in wanting to help, it is easy to cross the line into more of a parenting role, which can damage a person’s self-esteem. Plan extra time, incorporate adaptive tools, and step back whenever you can to permit him/her to do whatever they can on their own.
  • Convey your love for your partner in ways that have nothing in connection with the care you are providing. Write love letters, provide small, thoughtful gifts, tell the person just how much you admire specific qualities in them.
  • Have an open, honest conversation about how the health changes are affecting you. Brainstorm approaches to find a new normal that will be fulfilling for each of you, and realign new, attainable goals and dreams together.
  • Be deliberate in creating opportunities to focus on your relationship apart from the injury or illness. Continue to participate in the activities and conversations you enjoyed together before the health issue arose, adapting along the way if needed.

If all of this seems easier said than done, there are some specific steps you can take to make sure you’re maintaining appropriate boundaries in your role as caregiver for your partner:

  • Place some favorite memorabilia or photos from prior vacations you’ve taken together in areas where you’ll see them frequently, to remind each of you of the happy times you’ve shared together.
  • Offer hugs, hold hands, give a back rub or shoulder massage, etc. to stay in close physical contact apart from touch that is a required component of care.
  • Keep an active social network, both as a couple and individually. The activities you participate in with relatives and friends may need to be modified, but should never be eliminated altogether.
  • Focus on resolving any conflicts in a healthy way, bringing in a professional counselor for help if required.

An at-home caregiver is a perfect solution to make sure your partner has all the help and support needed, enabling you to focus on spending quality time together as a couple. Contact the care professionals at Generations at Home at 727-940-3414 to learn more about our respite care in Clearwater and the surrounding areas.

How to Take a Break from Caregiving (And Why You Need to)

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break from caregiving“You can make it, but it’s easier if you don’t have to do it alone.” – Betty Ford

We all know that no individual can function as an island, something that especially holds true when caring for a parent with dementia. Yet many family caregivers stumble when it comes to asking for or accepting the help they need. As a result, stress is intensified as there’s little, if any, time for self-care – a necessity for anyone in a caregiving role.

Why are we frequently so determined to address such an extraordinary undertaking independently? The following are several common reasons for this behavior and some insight on why we must rethink:

  1. It is too complicated to try and find a caregiver I am able to trust. At Generations At Home, we background check and fully train all of our caregivers, ensuring key character traits such as flexibility, reliability, kindness, and more. Generations At Home is bonded and insured for your additional peace of mind. We also artfully match each client with the ideal caregiver who will be most compatible. Additionally, if a primary caregiver is on vacation or ill, we are equipped to provide an equally qualified replacement caregiver.
  2. Mom would never want someone else caring for her. Many of us would resist if we were told that someone was coming over to give us a bath; that is a very common sentiment. But having someone come and assist with housework and meals is a good approach to introducing a new caregiver, working your way up to additional necessary services after the caregiver becomes a trusted friend and accepted. The wording you utilize will make a big difference as well. Having a “salon day” sounds significantly more inviting, for example.
  3. I’m doing just fine on my own; I don’t need a break. Simply put, science disagrees! A research study shared in the American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry revealed that a particular stress hormone was depleted in caregivers whose stress was prolonged and chronic – such as in providing dementia care independently – while those who engaged just 2 days each week of respite care realized an increase in the hormone, as well as a brighter outlook and elevated mood.
  4. No one else could care for Mom like I do. While you are most certainly not replaceable, the objective of enlisting help is certainly not replacement, but respite. A loved one with dementia will benefit from the socialization provided by someone besides yourself, while you gain the benefit of a much-needed break – ultimately allowing you to provide better care to the senior when you return.

If you would like to explore in-home respite care for a person you love with Alzheimer’ or other chronic conditions, reach out to Generations At Home to begin the discussion. Our fully trained, experienced, and compassionate caregivers are here to help you reduce stress, improve life for an older adult you love, and provide you with the opportunity to take a brief break from caregiving. Call us at 727-940-3414 to learn more about options for respite care in Largo, St. Petersburg, and surrounding areas!

How to Respond When a Loved One with Alzheimer’s Has Loss of Inhibitions

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caregiver comforting senior womanAwkwardness. Discomfort. Disbelief. Shame. Most of these feelings can cycle through a family caregiver’s heart when your family member with Alzheimer’s disease displays disinhibited behaviors, such as:

  • Rude or tactless comments
  • Unacceptable sexual advances or remarks
  • Removal of clothes at improper times
  • And other socially unacceptable actions

The complex changes that occur to the brain in dementia can result in a complete turnaround in an older adult’s personality and behaviors, such as a formerly genteel grandmother suddenly cursing like a sailor. For somebody who is uncomfortable, disoriented, confused, or has simply forgotten social skills and graces, these behaviors are actually quite common; therefore, it’s important to figure out how to best manage them if and when they develop in someone you love.

Generations at Home’s dementia care experts highly recommend trying the following tactics when a loved one with Alzheimer’s has loss of inhibitions:

  • See if there is a solvable problem evoking the behaviors, such as a physical illness, medication complications, the need to utilize the rest room, environment-induced anxiety, etc.
  • Remind yourself that the Alzheimer’s disease is to blame, and respond gently and patiently, without overreacting or lashing out in anger.
  • Help the older adult remain involved in appropriate activities based on his or her individual interests. If the senior becomes agitated with a particular activity, change to something different, or relocate to another room in your house or outdoors whenever possible.
  • Pay attention to clothing choices, if removing clothes at inappropriate times is an issue. If the senior has been wearing pants without zippers for ease and comfort, you might switch to something a little bit more difficult to remove when out in public, for example.
  • Be sure that all the individual’s physical needs are met to circumvent problematic behaviors. Maintain a comfortable temperature in your home, keep numerous healthy snacks and drinks handy, and support regular physical activity and movement.
  • Provide appropriate physical contact often in the form of hugs, holding the person’s hand, or rubbing his/her back, when welcomed by the senior, communicating reassurance to alleviate anxiety.

It’s also beneficial to ensure you have enough time for regular breaks to tend to your personal self-care needs and ease the stress that is commonly inherent in caring for a cherished older adult with Alzheimer’s disease. Generations at Home’s caregivers are highly trained and experienced in effective, compassionate dementia care, and are here for you with as much or as little respite care as necessary. Call us at 727-940-3414 for additional helpful resources and to schedule a free in-home consultation for more information about how we can assist throughout the St. Petersburg, FL area.

How to Handle Aging Parents Who Expect Too Much

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senior woman looks disparagingly at the cameraIn an ideal world, we could perfectly compartmentalize our caregiving duties, sticking to a routine that met the needs of a loved one, while enabling enough time necessary to handle our myriad of other responsibilities. But of course, life does not adhere to our desired script, and conflicting needs are common when caring for an older adult. Many seniors balk at the need for help, while others can come to rely too greatly on an adult child, leading to unfulfilled expectations and ultimately disappointment for both parties.

Generations at Home’s senior care experts provide the following tips to help explain objectives and communicate effectively:

  • Focus on empathy. Rather than drawing away from a senior loved one whose expectations seem unreasonable, pause and empathize. Think through the problems your senior loved one is facing, and how it would feel to be in his or her shoes. Then voice your genuine concern and desire to help.
  • Permit each other to be heard. Initiate a dialogue with your loved one, encouraging her or him to talk about how it feels to be in need of care, and what type of care is necessary. Determine what the senior’s expectations are, and then share your own expectations and limitations in being able to fully meet his or her needs.
  • Compromise to arrive at a solution. Finding a resolution that works well for both of you might be easier than you think. For example, if the senior expects assistance with transportation in accordance with a particular schedule several times a week, perhaps you can provide that assistance one day, while recruiting assistance from others to cover additional days. This allows for improved socialization for the older adult as well as the healthy life balance you need.

Generations at Home is available to partner with family caregivers with highly skilled, carefully matched care experts who are passionate about making life the very best it can be for older adults. Working together with Generations at Home enables adult children to ensure their aging parents are well taken care of all of the time, whether by filling in with respite care where needed, through around-the-clock live-in care, or a variety of solutions in between. Just some of the countless ways we can help include:

  • Safe, accompanied transportation
  • Running errands
  • Planning and preparing nutritious meals
  • Keeping the house clean and neat
  • Offering friendly companionship to brighten each day
  • Creative and highly specialized care for individuals diagnosed with dementia
  • And so much more

Contact us online or call us at 727-940-3414 to discuss the challenges you are facing, and to let us share more about how we can help.

Beyond Losing 10 Pounds: Meaningful Resolutions for Family Caregivers to Inspire Hope

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Senior woman backpacking and exploringIf you are one of the 8% of Americans who actually accomplish their New Year’s resolution goals, well done! However, if you are like the majority of us, you’ve given up well before even turning the calendar page to February. Although of course it is admirable to strive to improve ourselves by resolving to get rid of 10 pounds or eat healthier, for busy family caregivers, there are some truly meaningful, attainable goals that will improve life throughout the year.

Consider these recommendations:

  • Find joy. Taking care of another person is a labor of love, but can bring about challenges that make it hard to spark joy. Take time each day to pause and discover a reason to smile. Bring humor into the daily caregiving tasks to share laughter along with your family member. Take pleasure in the feeling of the sunlight shining through the window as you are sorting laundry. Call a relative who lifts your spirits for a brief chat.
  • See the bigger picture. Attempt to take one step back from the busyness of your to-do list, and view the overall effect your caregiving is making. Because of you, a senior loved one is able to continue living in the comfort and familiarity of home. Thanks to you, life is the absolute best it can be for your loved one. Your contribution is priceless and is making a significant difference.
  • Compartmentalize. It is really important to make mental wellness a priority, and one effective way to cope with the numerous different responsibilities associated with providing care is to be fully focused on the present. Visualizing different rooms for different concerns can be helpful; when you begin to worry about a planned surgical procedure a loved one is facing while watching a show along with your children, contemplate placing that concern in its appropriate room until later, and being focused on the present.
  • Be kind to yourself. It is easy to succumb to a pattern of wishing you could do more for a parent, or thinking about errors you have made which you wish you could change. Emphasize to yourself that you are human, and that you are performing essential work for the individual you love. Acknowledge the sacrifices you’re making, just like you would take note and appreciate them in another family caregiver.
  • Seek – and accept – support and help. Attempting to be a superhero who handles each and every thing independently can easily result in burnout and depression. Working with other people to assist the senior is the best method to be sure his / her needs are completely met, while helping you realize the healthy life balance you need and deserve.

Generations at Home is the ideal partner for family caregivers, offering highly skilled, professional, and compassionate care for older adults in accordance with each person’s specific needs. Allow us to help! Give us a call at 727-940-3414 and together we can develop a plan of care in order to make 2020 the greatest year yet – both for the senior in your care, as well as for yourself.

Are you Experiencing Family Caregiver Depression?

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Woman stressed alone in the roomThere’s no question that it’s an incredible honor to care for people we love. Family caregivers experience a closeness and bond with those in their care that usually far outweighs the difficulties. However, there are challenges. A perpetual to-do list to be sure the senior loved one you’re providing care for is as happy and healthy as possible. Household chores and errands to manage. Job obligations. The requirements of other members of the family and friends. And don’t overlook self-care.

The result is an often daunting degree of stress, that if left uncontrolled, can quickly become caregiver burnout and even depression, which could appear in any or each of the following ways:

  • Feelings of anger, unhappiness, despair, stress
  • Difficulty with falling or staying asleep during the night
  • Lack of interest in previously-enjoyed activities
  • Eating more or significantly less than usual
  • Delayed thinking
  • And if left untreated, suicidal thoughts or even attempts at suicide

This brief online evaluation will allow you to determine whether you might be suffering from depression.

The good news is, there are a number of easy steps you are able to take to lower your potential for falling into depression:

  • To start, make an appointment with your health care provider for help
  • Refrain from isolating yourself and ensure lots of opportunities for socialization apart from your caregiving relationship
  • Remain active, both physically and mentally, with activities you love: swimming, playing a sport, reading, volunteering with a cause that is important to you

While it could be challenging for family caregivers to carve out the time essential for self-care, it’s vitally important to the health of both the caregivers themselves and the seniors in their care. Lots of times, family relations feel as if they should do it all on their own – after all, they understand the older adult much better than anyone else, and quite often it just seems easier to manage things independently.

An overly stressed, burned out, or depressed caregiver requires dependable, reliable support – and the great news is, it is easily obtainable! A knowledgeable, home caregiver can provide as much or as little care support as needed. Perhaps, for instance, you’d like to continue to make all of the meals for your senior loved one – but would love some help with tidying up the kitchen afterwards. Or perhaps your senior loved one would feel more comfortable with a professional caregiver providing help with personal care needs, for example, bathing and assistance in the restroom.

At Generations at Home, we appreciate how complicated life can feel for family caregivers, and we work with families to develop a plan of care that meets each person’s individual needs and desires. Let us help with trustworthy, professional respite care. Reach out to us at 727-940-3414 any time for additional information.

St. Petersburg, FL Home Care: Top Ways to Avoid Caregiving Injuries

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Nursing home – home caregiver helping an elderly man out of bed

Avoid caregiving injuries with Generations at Home’s expert services.

While the ultimate goal is to improve health and safety for the seniors they love, family caregivers, unfortunately, often end up compromising their own in the process. In fact, an astounding 94% of caregivers in a recent study conducted by Ohio State University reported musculoskeletal pain in at least one part of their body – and 66% reported this pain impacting their quality of life.

And know that a “caregiver” can represent anyone in the family who assists another person with daily activities. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, this means that 34 million Americans are at risk of becoming injured through the care they provide.

At Generations at Home, we know firsthand the degree of lifting, bending, and weight-bearing required in meeting the care needs of an older adult, which is why each of our professional caregivers is trained in techniques that safeguard both themselves and the seniors in their care. Injuries can result from even the simplest of tasks that require more physical strength than you may realize: shopping and running errands, cleaning the home, performing laundry chores, even cooking.

To help family caregivers reduce the risk of injury, we offer the following recommendations:

  • Let assistive devices do the lifting. For older adults with mobility issues, transfers, such as from bed to chair, represent one of the most common causes of injury to those caring for them. Not only that, but the risk of the senior falling and obtaining an injury are heightened. Caregivers should look into equipment such as a Hoyer lift to assist with safe transfers (but note that proper training will be required).
  • Exercise safe movement practices. We’ve all heard the adage, “Lift with your legs, not with your back,” but before lifting a finger, caregivers should take a quick assessment of their own physical status. If any pain is felt in any of the joints or back, it’s a sign that the body has been pushed beyond its capacity – and an alternative means of assisting the senior should be explored.
  • Seek help. The best way to avoid injury in caregiving is by knowing your limitations, and calling in professionals when warranted. The caregiving team at Generations at Home is fully experienced and adept in providing a full range of senior care assistance, allowing family members and seniors alike to remain safe and well.

Contact us at 727-940-3414 to request a free in-home consultation. We can perform a safety assessment of the home, provide resources to help in your caregiving journey, and offer the highly customized, expert in-home care services that allow families the opportunity to simply enjoy quality time with the seniors they love.

Help for This Common Alzheimer’s Care Concern: Resistance to Personal Hygiene

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Towel LifestyleOf the many challenges related to providing care for a loved one with dementia, the Alzheimer’s Association reveals that the most prevalent difficulty is with personal hygiene, for a variety of reasons:

  • Reduced sense of vision and smell
  • Comfort found in familiarity (i.e., wanting to wear the same clothes over and over again)
  • The complexities of bathing, compounded by cognitive impairment and confusion
  • Fear of falling, the sounds and sensations of the water, and more

Cajoling, arguing, and reasoning are rarely effective tactics with those impacted by Alzheimer’s or another type of dementia. Instead, try these creative approaches if your loved one resists maintaining proper hygiene:

  • Prepare the bathroom in advance so the room will be comfortable and you won’t need to juggle gathering up supplies in conjunction with assisting the senior. Warm the room with a space heater, and place soap, shampoo, towels, washcloth, etc. within easy reach, as well as remove any throw rugs or other tripping hazards.
  • A shower chair and hand-held sprayer often make a more comfortable bathing experience for those with dementia. Face the chair away from the faucet, and use towels to cover parts of the body before and after they are cleaned to keep the senior warm and to avoid feelings of exposure.
  • Have the senior assist with bathing tasks as much as possible to promote independence. It may be as simple as offering a washcloth or the shampoo bottle for the senior to hold.
  • If hair washing is difficult for either of you, forego that task during bath time, and arrange for weekly trips to the salon.
  • Plan a special outing with the senior, such as a lunch date with a friend, and center bath time around getting ready for the event.
  • Bring in the recommendation of a medical professional, who can advise the senior about the increased risk of infection or skin problems without proper hygiene. Sometimes hearing from a trusted third party carries more weight than from a family member.
  • Engage the services of a caregiver, allowing the senior the dignity of having personal care needs tended to by a professional, rather than a family member.

At Generations at Home, each of our caregivers is adept in safe hygiene procedures for older adults, with specialized training to help those with Alzheimer’s disease feel comfortable with personal hygiene tasks, including creative approaches to safe bathing, skin, hair, and oral care, restroom assistance, and much more. Call us at 727-940-3414 or contact us online to discover effective solutions to the concerns you and your loved one are facing!