Everyone slips up and says the wrong thing from time to time. Perhaps your objective was to compliment a friend on her new haircut, but you came across sounding like you were criticizing her previous hairstyle. Selecting our words carefully is always important, but even more so when speaking with a person with dementia. The words we say and the way we say them can significantly impact the person’s emotional well-being and quality of life.
Here are five things to avoid saying to maintain effective communication with seniors with dementia, along with alternative approaches to foster understanding and connection:
“You’re wrong.” Invalidating a person’s memories or thoughts may cause frustration and distress. Rather than dismissing their reality, validate their feelings and experiences. For instance, say, “I understand that you see it that way,” or redirect the conversation to a new topic. By acknowledging their perspective, you validate their emotions and maintain a sense of connection.
“We already talked about that.” Pointing out a senior’s forgetfulness over and over is hurtful and unhelpful. Instead, practice patience and respond as if it is the first time you’ve heard the information. This tactic preserves their dignity and reduces feelings of frustration. You can say, “Thank you for sharing that with me,” and continue the conversation without dwelling on their forgetfulness.
“You don’t have dementia.” Ignoring someone’s dementia can be confusing and isolating. It’s essential to acknowledge their reality while offering support and reassurance. Express empathy and assure them that you are there to help navigate any challenges they may face. You could say, “I’m here to support you through this journey, no matter what comes our way.”
“Remember when…?” It can be awkward to ask someone with dementia to recall things from the past they may struggle to remember. Instead, provide gentle prompts or share your own memories to spark conversation without putting pressure on them to remember. For instance, say, “I remember when we went to that play together. It was such a lovely evening,” allowing them to participate in the conversation without feeling pressured to remember specific details.
“You are being difficult.” Calling someone difficult or annoying for their behavior can raise tensions and make it difficult to have effective communication with a senior with dementia. Instead, approach them with kindness and understanding. Identify the underlying needs or emotions driving their behavior and respond with empathy and patience. For example, say, “I can see that you are feeling frustrated. Why don’t we take a moment to determine how we can make things better together.”
Communication can become very challenging as dementia progresses. Let our highly trained, knowledgeable dementia care specialists help. To learn more about our services, contact us online or call us at 727-940-3414 to learn more about our specialized care for people who have dementia in St. Petersburg, Pinellas Park, Seminole, together with surrounding areas. Generations at Home understands the unique needs of people living with dementia and are dedicated to providing thoughtful care that promotes dignity and quality of life.
