Follow This Checklist After the Death of a Loved One

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After the death of a loved one, it can be difficult to know what to do next.

After losing a loved one, the last thing you want to do is complete a list of to-dos. The pain and loss alone are overwhelming enough. Taking the time to sort out your grief is very important. Yet there are, unfortunately, a number of tasks that need to be taken care of, at various intervals after the person’s passing.

To help ease this process, we have put together a straightforward checklist and timeline of items to address.

What Do I Need to Do After My Loved One Passes Away?

Just after death:

• Obtain the legal pronouncement of death by a medical professional. In a nursing home or hospital, this will automatically be taken care of. In the case of death at home, call 911 for transport to the hospital for the pronouncement.

• Notify friends and family. Use whatever method is most comfortable for you. You can contact one individual and ask them to spread the word, or it could be more cathartic for you to speak with each individual yourself. Use email or social media if that works for you. There’s no right or wrong way to accomplish this.

• Contact the funeral home of your choice (or, if final wishes were preplanned, your loved one’s choice) to advise them of the death.

Within a few days:

• Work with the funeral home, the individual’s religious organization, and, if applicable, the Veterans’ Administration, to finalize plans for the service.

• Determine who you would like to assist with funeral-related tasks, such as writing the obituary, helping with thank-you notes, serving as pallbearers, and making arrangements for a post-funeral gathering.

• Lock up any valuables in the home and remove any perishable food.

• Make long-term arrangements for any pets.

• Contact the post office for a forwarding order for the person’s mail.

In two weeks:

• Obtain ten copies of the individual’s death certificate (or, ask the funeral home to manage this for you).

• Close the person’s email account, and either close or memorialize their social media account(s).

• Take a copy of the will to your city or county probate court office to begin the process of ensuring the person’s wishes outlined within the will are followed and that all outstanding debts are resolved.

• Notify the Social Security Administration, bank and financial advisors, life insurance company, a credit bureau such as Equifax, and the DMV. Most of these organizations will need a copy of the death certificate.

• Speak with an attorney to discuss estate settlement.

• Contact a CPA to arrange for a final tax return to be filed.

• Locate the person’s will and determine who the executor is.

• Make a list of all assets and bills, and cancel accounts: electric, phone, internet, streaming services, etc.

Generations at Home is here to assist you through this difficult time, especially if the person leaves behind an elderly spouse. Our caregivers can step in to fill any gaps in care while you take care of the many final tasks and arrangements needed. Reach out to us any time at 727-940-3414 for assistance.

What to Do When a Senior With Dementia No Longer Recognizes You

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Understanding what to do when a senior with dementia no longer recognizes you is important.

You’ve been taking care of Mom since her dementia diagnosis. You’ve been working through many of the challenging symptoms. However one day, she looks at you and calls you by a different name – that of her husband or younger brother or father. Do you correct her, reminding her that you are her son? Should you let it slide, pretending you didn’t notice the mistake? Or, should you just roll with it, accepting the new identity she has given you?

The loss of recognition is among the more distressing effects of dementia on family members. It is hard to look into a loved one’s eyes and receive a blank stare in return, or even to be called by a different name. It is important to set aside your own personal feelings temporarily, however, as you respond to the person. (We will get back to your feelings in a moment!)

Simple tips to Respond to Alzheimer’s Recognition Confusion

First, realize that your tone of voice and attitude are infectious. If you show alarm at the individual’s memory lapse, they will certainly feel dismayed as well, though they will not specifically understand why. Keep a calm, cheerful countenance during your interactions with someone with Alzheimer’s.

Next, reinforce that you know who the individual is. Use their name in your conversations, according to their sense of reality. If they believe you’re a brother or husband, for instance, call them by their first name instead of “Mom.” Try talking about past, familiar anecdotes. Long-term memory remains in place much longer than short-term memory. As a result, the older adult should be able to take part in discussions about their childhood and young adulthood, even when present-day memories have faded.

Finally, make certain you are prioritizing time to take care of yourself and work through the grief that is inherent in being a caregiver for someone with dementia. Though the person is still alive, the abilities and memories they have lost cause grief to those who love them. Talk to a therapist for assistance, and prioritize pastimes you enjoy.

Watching a loved one experience memory loss, including loss of recognition, is heartbreaking. It isn’t possible to “jog” memories lost to dementia by cajoling, prompting, or any other means. The individual is not able to retrieve these lost memories in the same manner someone who has lost their sight is no longer able to see.

The best strategy is always to focus on the strengths and abilities the individual does still have intact, and celebrate those each day. At Generations at Home, our caregivers are specially experienced and trained in creative and positive dementia care techniques. We are always available to provide you with additional resources and tips to assist you and someone you love. Contact us at 727-940-3414 to learn more about our in-home care dementia services and how we are available to assist you during your caregiving journey.

Balancing Family Caregiving and Work Responsibilities Post-Pandemic

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family caregiving while working on laptop at the dining table and sons having lunchIf there is one particular positive after-effect of the pandemic, it’s the attention generated for family caregiving. Managing work and home life has long been a tremendous challenge for anyone caring for a senior relative. As Lindsay Jurist-Rosner, CEO of Wellthy, explains, “Caregiving went from a silent struggle to being in the spotlight overnight.”

Employers were unexpectedly placed into the fire of navigating an environment of balancing the safety of staff with the necessity to uphold productivity. Here’s what we discovered – and what we can expect for the future:

  • More telecommuting. People who began working from home over the last year have, in many cases, proven their ability to be more productive. As a result, it’s predicted that nearly 25 – 30% of the workforce within the United States will continue telecommuting at least several days weekly this year.
  • Lower stress. Doing away with the daily commute opens up additional time for self-care for family caregivers, while boosting peace of mind. This is particularly true for individuals who relied on public transportation and were concerned about compromised health safety. To help boost mental health, many employers are providing subscriptions to meditation and mindfulness applications.
  • A corporate culture of caring. Working from home has exposed the personal components of our lives to employers. Zoom meetings share our living spaces with each other, including the appearance of children, pets, and other family members. Because of this, the workplace has become more humanized, resulting in a more empathetic working environment.
  • Emphasis on mental wellness. Along those lines, there’s also now increased understanding of the need for tending to our mental wellness. A Kaiser Family Foundation poll revealed that nearly 45% of adults experienced negative mental health effects as a consequence of the pandemic – and an even greater percentage in people who serve as family caregivers for older family members. Many employers have started implementing strategies to care for the mental health of their employees, such as offering virtual trips and adventures to give the opportunity to escape and relax.

Let Generations at Home further help cultivate an improved work-life balance with our trusted respite and senior care services in St. Petersburg and the surrounding communities. Regular, ongoing respite care is key to the overall wellness of family caregivers. Our skilled and compassionate home healthcare team is on hand to help with anything from just a couple hours every week up to and including around-the clock care. Give us a call at 727-940-3414 to ask about a no cost in-home consultation to get started.

How to Keep Motivating Seniors from Crossing the Line to Bullying

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Married couple argumentAs a family caregiver, you no doubt encounter a range of emotions throughout the day: shared laughter over a joke with your loved one; worry over a health concern; and certainly, from time to time, frustrations. We want only the best for those we love, and when an older adult is resistant to doing something we know is best, it can be challenging to determine the most appropriate response.

The key is to offer motivation and encouragement, while being careful not to cross the line into bullying the senior. These tips are good to keep in mind:

  • There’s no one-size-fits-all. An approach that works on one occasion may be completely ineffective in another. If the senior refuses to take a bath, for instance, you may simply want to let the matter slide and try again tomorrow. Or, maybe reframing bath time into a soothing spa activity will hold more appeal. Incorporating humor may work well one day, while using a gentler, softer tone of voice may be the solution on another. Having a variety of strategies at the ready can help reduce frustration for both of you.
  • Empower the senior to remain in control. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with the senior during a calm, peaceful moment to solicit feedback on how the caregiving relationship is going, and what he or she would like to see changed. It’s important to then take to heart the older adult’s feedback and incorporate it into your caregiving approach.
  • Be mindful of incremental bullying. While we certainly would never set out to bully a loved one into compliance, it’s possible to gradually progress from encouragement and motivation into pushiness and forcefulness without realizing it. Take an honest look at your tendencies in communicating with your loved one, and then take steps to improve upon them if needed.
  • Remember the overarching priority. Above and beyond the many tasks required in providing care for a senior loved one, maintaining a healthy, positive and fulfilling relationship with each other is paramount. If you find that the frustrations of providing care are outweighing the benefits for either of you at any time, there’s always the possibility of exploring alternate care options, allowing you to place your focus on spending quality time together with the senior you love.

Generations at Home is the perfect partner for family caregivers. Our caregiving staff are fully trained and experienced in the many facets of senior home care, and can provide the assistance family members need to maintain healthy relationships with those they love. Contact us online or call 727-940-3414 and request an in-home consultation to discover the difference respite care can make in both a senior’s quality of life and yours.

How Caring for Aging Parents is Causing Many People to Quit Their Jobs

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Family caregiving can have a large impact on work performance.

Recently, actor Rob Lowe brought family caregiving into the spotlight by sharing his story of caring for his mother and the toll it took on his own life. He explains, “When you’re caring for a loved one, there’s nothing you won’t do to give them as much comfort and peace of mind as you can possibly provide. Often that means you’ll skip your social obligations, wreck your diet, suffer sleep deprivation, and even risk your career.”

Of course, this is nothing new to the vast majority of the U.S. workforce (3 out of 4 employees) who are simultaneously providing care for someone at home. And according to a survey conducted by Harvard Business School, 80% of those family caregivers are struggling to keep up with their career commitments as a result of their caregiving duties. And nearly a third of them end up relinquishing their careers to focus more on the care their loved one requires.

Yet conversely, employers seem to be less aware of the challenges faced by their employees, and the stress that results from juggling responsibilities between home and work, noting in the survey excuses such as, “It’s none of our business,” and “The volume of use of caregiving benefits is low enough that it is not necessary to track it.” And the majority of those employees are in agreement that their organization’s culture is not as supportive as they’d like with regard to meeting needs on the job as well as at home.

So how can employees help to drive the workplace changes needed to ensure that the ever-growing army of working family caregivers receives both the understanding and resources needed for a successful work/life balance? It begins with speaking up to create the necessary awareness of the issue. Employers need to understand the impact family caregiving has on their staff in order to retain the employees most likely to leave over caregiving stress: younger workers, higher-ranking workers, and higher-earning workers. Research and recommend caregiving benefits the employer can offer, and then don’t be afraid to use those benefits when offered.

Additionally, keep in mind that Generations at Home in St. Petersburg, FL provides a highly personalized care solution that allows employed family members to focus more fully on their careers, knowing their senior loved ones are receiving the high quality care they need at home. Contact us online or call us at 727-940-3414 to arrange for a free in-home consultation to learn more about our professional in-home care services for seniors, and how we can partner with your employer to explore caregiving benefit offerings for employees.

Life with an Aging Parent: Are You Becoming a Helicopter Child?

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Are you guilty of hovering too closely over your senior parents when it comes to home healthcare?

We’ve all known helicopter parents, particularly when a son or daughter goes off to college. The fact is, we might be guilty of hovering a tad too closely ourselves. Discovering that appropriate balance between caring and overstepping our boundaries is not very easy.

And now, due to the added number of sandwich generationers providing care for both aging parents and children, we’re at risk of acquiring an additional badge of overbearingness: that of a helicopter child. It’s not uncommon for adult children to find themselves slipping into a role reversal in regard to their senior parents, with the very best of intentions, of course; obviously, we would like to keep our loved ones safe. Nevertheless, this could lead senior loved ones to feel indignant, upset, or frustrated at their newfound loss of control.

If you believe you are infringing on your elderly parent’s rights and sense of self-worth and control, here is insight on how to come in for a landing, and resolve to step in only when absolutely necessary.

Discuss expectations. Engage your parent in a conversation about aging expectations, and exactly how she would want you to help with obtaining those goals. For example, in the event the senior were to be diagnosed with dementia, would the personal preference be to move into an assisted living facility, or stay at home with support? If the senior were to fall, necessitating surgery or rehabilitation, how would she picture her healing experience? Would she be happy getting assistance with personal care tasks, including bathing and using the toilet, from you or from a skilled caregiver?

Speak up when necessary. When safety is jeopardized, it is crucial to step in, keeping a respectful, collaborative mind-set. The objective is to ensure that the senior preserves as much self-sufficiency as is feasible. If she’s hesitant to accept assistance or even to make prudent decisions, such as using a walker when needed to avoid a fall, it may be beneficial to enlist the help of her medical doctor or a geriatric care manager to offer suggestions.

Otherwise, step back. If you want to control circumstances that are not affecting the senior’s health or safety, and she is cognitively still capable of making her own decisions, it is far better to let those concerns go. “A child should be sensitive to a parent’s need for self-determination and maintaining self-identity,” shares Barry Jacobs, clinical psychologist and author of The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers: Looking After Yourself and Your Family While Helping Aging Parents.

Get in contact with Generations at Home at 727-940-3414 for expert senior care assistance which is always geared towards ensuring as much independence as possible for senior loved ones, permitting family caregivers the opportunity to step back and give their parents the independence that they need while remaining safe.