How to Talk About Aging Care With Your Parents

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Discover how to talk about aging care with your parents

Learn how to talk about aging care with your parents effectively to make sure you’re all on the same page.

Perhaps you recall having “the talk” with your parents about those cringeworthy pre-teen topics. If you thought that was uncomfortable, brace yourself for “the talk” with older parents about concerns you’re noticing and the need for care at home! Knowing how to talk about aging care with your parents isn’t easy, for a number of reasons:

  • Your parents may resent what appears to be a reversal of roles or being told what to do
  • They could be in denial that there’s a problem at all
  • They could feel threatened and fearful of losing independence and the freedom to make their own choices

How can you overcome these very valid feelings to come to a place of acceptance about home care services? Try these recommendations as a starting point:

  1. Plan the conversation: what you will discuss, who will attend, where you can best talk without distractions.
  2. Think through what it could be like to be in your parents’ shoes and how you would want the conversation to go.
  3. Resolve to stay calm and respectful through the entire discussion, never trying to parent your parent.
  4. Listen to their concerns with an open mind and without preplanned responses.
  5. Realize there could be more than one solution – and, that it frequently takes more than one conversation to achieve agreement.

Before approaching your parents, practice what you intend to say with someone you trust to give you straightforward feedback. Role-playing is a great way to refine your presentation and words and to help you gain confidence.

When you are ready to talk to your parent, be ready for any outcome. In an ideal world, they will agree with your concerns and be open to having the support of a home care professional. It’s certainly conceivable that they share your concerns, but were unsure how to broach the subject with you. But likewise be ready for resistance, defensiveness, and perhaps even anger.

If the discussion is leading to heightened emotions and you’re heading for an impasse, pause the conversation and try again later. It could be helpful to include someone your parent respects and trusts in a future conversation, such as a close friend or medical professional.

When you’re ready to explore home care options for your parent, contact Generations at Home. We can start off with minimal support, such as meals, transportation, or light housekeeping, and gradually work up to more care once your parents feel at ease with their caregiver.

We know how difficult it can be for someone to accept the need for help at home. Our goal is always to foster an environment of independence in which each individual in our care continues to be as much in control of all of life’s decisions as possible.

You can contact us 24/7 at 727-940-3414 to learn more about our highly customized home care services and for more tips on how to talk about aging care with your parents. We proudly serve St. Petersburg, Clearwater, Gulfport, and the surrounding areas.

How You Can Support a Senior During a Short-Term Stay in Assisted Living

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caregiver-handing-flowers-to-senior-lady

Make a short-term stay in assisted living feel more like home with these tips.

After a surgical procedure or hospitalization, the physician may recommend rehab in a facility prior to when the person returns home. This is usually a short-term period of intensive therapy to promote healing and recovery. However, the idea of moving into an assisted living facility or nursing home even for a few weeks or months can be exceedingly hard to accept.

What are the best ways to help a family member through this challenging life event? There are a number of steps you can take to help overcome feelings of anxiety, fear, and homesickness during a short-term facility stay.

• Personalize the room. The facility will provide the bare necessities: a bed, chair, and dresser. Make the space feel more like home by bringing in items such as a favorite pillow and quilt, family photos, and other small memorabilia. Pack their favorite lotion, shampoo, and other personal care items, along with comfortable clothes. Be cautious, however, about bringing any items of special significance or value. This applies to clothing as well, which might get lost or delivered to the wrong person in the laundering process.

• Visit often. You may feel as though the person is receiving all the care they need, and that infrequent or short visits are fine. However, your companionship and presence are invaluable during this period. Pack a sandwich and join the person for lunch. Play games and cards together. Bring a book for the individual to read when you’re gone, and read the same book yourself, so you can discuss it together. Or simply sit with them and invite them to share whatever is on their heart.

• Be a motivator. Your family member will have a regimen of exercises and activities to focus on with their physical, speech, and/or occupational therapist. If the older adult and staff agree, attend therapy sessions along with the person. Find out what is involved in their recovery process, and exactly how you can effectively provide encouragement. For example, they may be encouraged to walk whenever possible. Taking walks together during your visits can provide the motivation they need to reach their goals.

You can also ask the doctor if in-home recovery is an option. If so, Generations at Home is here to assist every step of the way! We can begin by helping to prepare the home for the person’s discharge from the hospital. This can include grocery shopping so there are sufficient amounts of healthy food options available, picking up prescriptions, and performing a safety check to reduce fall risks. Once back at home, we can provide medication reminders, prepare meals, take care of light housekeeping, help with transfers and walking, and much more. Through it all, we’re here with friendly companionship to brighten the process of recovery at home.

Contact us at 727-940-3414 to find out more about how we are able to help with in-home post-hospitalization care services!

Creating Purpose: The Significance of Meaningful Activities for Seniors

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happy-grandchildren-with-grandmotherWhat is it that gets you out of bed each morning? If you’re a member of the sandwich generation, providing care for both older and younger loved ones, your list is probably quite long! As the nest empties, however, it becomes vital to redefine our identity and learn new ways to bring meaning to each day.

The effects of continuing to live purposefully for a lifetime are even more far-reaching than we once believed. A recently available research study released in JAMA Psychiatry uncovered that seniors with a strong sense of purpose displayed more robust walking speeds and hand grips, which are two key determinants in how quickly we are aging.

The reason? Patrick Hill, assistant professor of psychological and brain studies at Washington University, explains, “Purposeful individuals tend to be less reactive to stressors and more engaged, generally, in their daily lives, which can promote cognitive and physical health.”

How Can You Help Cultivate Purpose for the Seniors You Love?

A feeling of purpose, of course, looks different for each person. A good place to begin is by making a list of what a senior loved one likes and what skills they have. Then think through ways these can be connected into a meaningful outlet. For example, perhaps a retired carpenter who loves animals could volunteer at the local pet rescue shelter, repairing or building a storage shed. An individual who enjoys reading and kids could volunteer at a local elementary school.

Even setting and achieving minor goals is incredibly helpful, or participating in simple acts of kindness: starting and maintaining an herb garden, baking cookies for the neighbors, taking a class, or taking care of the grandkids.

How Can Home Care Help?

One key way in-home care can help is by providing the motivation together with the means to cultivate and implement ideas for a more purposeful life. Our caregivers serve as companions for the individuals we serve. We get acquainted with each individual personally, learning about their likes, dislikes, and interests, supplying the springboard to brainstorming ideas for meaningful activities together.

We also offer transportation and accompaniment anywhere a senior would like to go, which makes it very easy to follow through and turn an idea into a reality.

Not just that, but it’s always more fun to attempt something new with a buddy by your side to cheer you on every step of the way. A caregiver from Generations at Home is the perfect support for seniors to offer the encouragement needed, along with a comprehensive variety of care services to help conquer any barriers to trying something new.

For further ideas and hands-on help with implementing them, reach out to Generations at Home at 727-940-3414. We’re always available to help!

How to Help a Senior in Denial Realize the Benefits of Home Care

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mature-lady-discussing-care-needsWhen you begin to notice the warning signs that care in the home is needed for someone you love, it’s very common for the person to balk at the idea. After all, admitting the need for help is not easy, particularly for a person who prizes their independence and privacy. Yet what do you do when another member of the family is the one pushing back? In the event that you’ve reached an impasse within your family concerning the need for senior care, there’s one likely culprit to consider: denial.

Why Would a Family Member Deny the Need for Care in the Home?

Denial is a coping mechanism utilized to guard against feelings of helplessness or anxiety about an impending change. Your family member may feel more comfortable sticking their head in the sand in order to maintain status quo. Or, they may not be as familiar with the day-to-day care of the senior as you are, so they are not seeing the exact same concerns.

Whatever the basis for the denial, there are a number of strategies that may help you see eye to eye and make certain the older adult you both love receives the necessary support and care.

  • Educate. Instead of arguing from your own perspective, turn to trusted resources to validate your opinion. Research details on the progression of a specific health issue the senior is managing. Learn together about the challenges of getting older, the risks of senior falls, when it might be time to hand over the car keys, etc., and use that education as the jumping-off point for a discussion on how best to ensure comfort and safety for the senior.
  • Listen. Communication is a two-way street, so make sure to listen at least as much as you’re presenting your personal thoughts and concerns. Recognize and validate the person’s feelings. Try to the very best of your ability to keep the conversation calm and on an even keel, avoiding anger, sarcasm, and comments you could later regret.
  • Reinforce. Bring in a professional third party to bolster the advantages of home care in your particular situation. Make a scheduled appointment to talk to the individual’s doctor together. At times, hearing firsthand information from a healthcare expert is all that is needed to help a family member in denial change their viewpoint.

Also, be aware that it may be helpful to start home care services gradually and slowly work up to more services over time. For example, Generations at Home can begin with preparing meals, light housekeeping, and running errands or providing transportation initially. As the senior and caregiver form a bond of trust and companionship and the benefits of home care become more apparent, it’s then easy to add in more hours or extra care tasks, such as assistance with bathing and personal care needs.

When you are ready to explore home care services for someone you love, we’re here to consult with you and your family about solutions and to answer any questions you may have. We can address any concerns a member of your family is feeling about initiating home care services during a complimentary consultation, right in the comfort of home.

Connect with Generations at Home at 727-940-3414 any time to find out more information or to get started.

The “Questions to Ask Aging Parents” Checklist for the Holidays

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happy-senior-lady-drinking-coffeeIt’s been quite some time since you’ve had the opportunity for a nice, long visit with Mom. Now that the holiday season is here, you will have some uninterrupted time to catch up. Of course, you’ll want to make the most of this time together, but it’s also the best time to evaluate how she is really doing, and if you can detect any changes in her health that perhaps have gone undiscovered through phone calls and FaceTime.

To help you think through areas of potential concern to evaluate, we’ve provided a list of questions to answer. Some of these questions you may wish to ask the senior directly, while others may be answered by observing the home environment and the senior herself.

Physical/Mental Health

  • Is she eating more or less than usual?
  • Has she gained or lost weight?
  • Is she having trouble falling or staying asleep?
  • Does she seem short of breath?
  • Do you notice any bruises or other injuries that could indicate a fall?
  • Does she seem happy and content?
  • Is she stumbling or holding onto furniture or the wall to get around?
  • Does the senior seem to be moving more slowly and cautiously?
  • Is she spending time with friends?
  • Is she actively engaged in enjoyable activities?

Cognitive Health

  • Are you noticing any unusual behaviors?
  • Is she misplacing items, only to find them in unexpected places, such as the car keys in the refrigerator?
  • Is she struggling to remember the names of familiar people or objects?
  • Is she repeating questions or statements in conversations?
  • Are there pieces of mail and bills that have not been opened?
  • Does the senior seem more forgetful or confused than usual?

Financial/Elder Abuse

  • Does the senior seem more timid or anxious than usual?
  • Does she suddenly have a new “friendship” with someone whose motives may be questionable?
  • Is she communicating with strangers online?
  • Has she cosigned for a loan for anyone?
  • Are there any changes in her banking activity?
  • Has she provided anyone with personal information over the phone or internet?

Home Maintenance

  • Is the yard maintained?
  • Is there clutter in the home that could pose a fall risk?
  • Are there any hazards you’re noticing, such as scorch marks on pans or the countertop that could indicate inattention to cooking?
  • Is the home cleaned to the senior’s typical standards?
  • Is the laundry clean and put away?
  • Are the bed linens being changed regularly?

If you are in any way concerned about a senior’s safety or wellbeing, regardless of how small, home care can help. Reach out to Generations at Home for more information.

A Guide to Preserving the Relationship While Caring for a Spouse

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Caring for a chronically ill spouse can change routines and expectations, so good communication and support are essential.

If you are in a successful, long-lasting relationship, you recognize that it requires commitment, compromise, and sacrifice. The happiest relationships are the ones where both parties selflessly take care of each other. This balance shifts, however, if the person you love encounters a serious health concern. And this shift into the role of care provider can have a devastating effect on the dynamics of your relationship if you’re not careful.

Naturally, you want to do whatever you can to help when caring for a spouse. Nonetheless, it is important to ensure you’re not losing your romantic connection along the way. Trying to parent your spouse can cause resentment – for both of you. To keep healthy boundaries, keep the following at heart:

  • Enable your partner to remain as independent as possible. While you undoubtedly have the best of intentions in wanting to help, it is easy to cross the line into more of a parenting role, which can damage a person’s self-esteem. Plan extra time, incorporate adaptive tools, and step back whenever you can to permit him/her to do whatever they can on their own.
  • Convey your love for your partner in ways that have nothing in connection with the care you are providing. Write love letters, provide small, thoughtful gifts, tell the person just how much you admire specific qualities in them.
  • Have an open, honest conversation about how the health changes are affecting you. Brainstorm approaches to find a new normal that will be fulfilling for each of you, and realign new, attainable goals and dreams together.
  • Be deliberate in creating opportunities to focus on your relationship apart from the injury or illness. Continue to participate in the activities and conversations you enjoyed together before the health issue arose, adapting along the way if needed.

If all of this seems easier said than done, there are some specific steps you can take to make sure you’re maintaining appropriate boundaries in your role as caregiver for your partner:

  • Place some favorite memorabilia or photos from prior vacations you’ve taken together in areas where you’ll see them frequently, to remind each of you of the happy times you’ve shared together.
  • Offer hugs, hold hands, give a back rub or shoulder massage, etc. to stay in close physical contact apart from touch that is a required component of care.
  • Keep an active social network, both as a couple and individually. The activities you participate in with relatives and friends may need to be modified, but should never be eliminated altogether.
  • Focus on resolving any conflicts in a healthy way, bringing in a professional counselor for help if required.

An at-home caregiver is a perfect solution to make sure your partner has all the help and support needed, enabling you to focus on spending quality time together as a couple. Contact the care professionals at Generations at Home at 727-940-3414 to learn more about our respite care in Clearwater and the surrounding areas.

Technology for Older Adults that Makes Living at Home Easier and Safer

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senior lady and adult daughter looking at tablet“You are always free to choose what you do with your life. To make changes in your future, make new choices today.” – Brian Tracy

Selecting where to live in our older age is not straight forward. Nearly all seniors would rather remain at home for a lifetime, however it is not without concerns. Can it be safe? How about mobility issues or any other physical limitations? What happens if an older adult falls and cannot get up?

Fortunately, there are a wide variety of solutions that make aging in place feasible for seniors. Technology, for instance, is constantly evolving and developing, offering answers to the difficulties that may surface as we get older. Just look at some of these tech devices and how they are improving life at home for older adults!

Remote Patient Monitoring

Remote patient monitoring connects individuals with their physicians in innovative ways: wearable devices to trace vital signs, smart pill bottles with sensors, bio-ingestible capsules older adults can swallow, even electronic tattoos that can assess the progression of pneumonia. It’s a step above telehealth appointments, delivering more comprehensive data on a person’s medical condition than can be determined via a video chat.

Home Safety

Smart devices provide peace of mind to an older adult who lives alone – and to the family members who love them. Older adults can select from individual products that meet a particular need, for example, a smart door lock, doorbell, or fire alarm, or entire smart security packages for all of these features and much more.

Additionally, a smart speaker system such as Amazon Echo or Google Nest Audio operates by voice command, an essential feature to a home technology system. The senior can simply say what they need, for example, calling for help, and technology takes care of it.

Whole Home Automation

For people who want to jump into technology with both feet, a central control system will allow for a variety of functions to be executed at the touch of a tablet or smartphone, for example, lights, security cameras, sensors, window shades, thermostat, music, Wi-Fi, and so much more.

Michael Miller, author of My Smart Home for Seniors, sums up the many benefits of technology for seniors: “Technology helps all homeowners, but especially seniors, by automating things that are a pain or difficult to do.”

Of course, a human touch is always necessary for safe and independent living at home, in spite of how many tech tools we utilize! Reach out to Generations at Home at 727-940-3414 for customized in-home care support that will help seniors truly thrive.

Effective Strategies to Advocate for Aging Parents

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Advocate for Aging ParentsTrusting someone you love to be cared for by someone else is never easy, especially for a senior family member. Whether at home or in a facility, you’ll have questions that need to be answered. You’ll also want to be prepared to advocate for your loved one to proactively manage any potential problems and also to immediately resolve issues that come up.

For example, review the following common situations and how to most effectively advocate for aging parents and loved ones:

  • You live far away. Thanks to technology, it is easier than ever to stay close to a long-distance relative and to keep a finger on the pulse of how things are going. Zoom, FaceTime, or Skype with the senior regularly to check in. If a family portal is available for the care provider and family members to share notes and comments, make the most of this communication tool. And in case you are unable to visit in person, ask a friend or other member of the family who lives close by to drop in routinely.
  • Your loved one has dementia. A loved one with dementia might not be able to effectively communicate their wishes and needs. For example, a new caregiver may not realize that Dad wears inserts in his shoes and she may put his shoes on each morning without them. Dad may not know how to express this need or could have forgotten about this need and start to become uncomfortable that day. Or he might act out because he is experiencing related discomfort, which may result in other issues. As the older adult’s voice, make certain to share even the seemingly small details about the person’s preferences with the care provider to ensure transitions are a smooth experience for all.
  • You’re concerned about challenging behaviors. In the event the older adult is susceptible to wandering, aggression, angry outbursts, hoarding, or any one of a variety of other difficult behaviors, you might feel embarrassed or ashamed. Though some may prefer not to discuss the issue, it is better to share this openly with the care provider. More likely than not, they have knowledge about effectively working with an array of personalities and personal nuances, and will be able to incorporate strategies that will work most effectively together with your loved one.

Generations at Home partners with families, working together to ensure the highest quality of care and independent living for seniors, through customized services such as:

  • Meal planning and preparation
  • Companionship for enjoyable activities and conversations
  • Running errands
  • Light housekeeping and laundry
  • Personal care for safe baths/showers, getting dressed, etc.
  • Transportation and accompaniment
  • And much more

Contact us at 727-940-3414 for a complimentary in-home consultation and learn more about options for senior care in St. Petersburg and surrounding areas. Please allow us to get to know one another and to develop a care plan to best meet the needs of a senior you love.

Four Great Social Activities for Seniors

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Elderly women enjoying fun activities outsideIf you’ve ever watched kids at the playground, you know how effortlessly friendships are formed. A small group may be playing tag, and a newcomer dashes over with a breathless, “Can I play?” More often than not, the response is a resounding, “Sure!” and voila – instant friends.

If only it were that easy as adults! Friendships provide us with a wealth of benefits, and are especially important for seniors now following COVID-related isolation requirements. So how can you help the older adults you love boost socialization and make some new friends? Short of jumping into a pick-up game of tag, try these tips:

  • Join a club. Brainstorm topics of interest with your loved one: reading, knitting, gardening, fishing, sports. Then search online for groups in your area that meet to enjoy those activities together. The local senior center may be a great resource as well. If you can’t find an already-established group, consider starting one of your own!
  • Take a class. Community colleges often offer reduced-cost (or no-cost) classes for seniors. Browse through an online list of courses to find one or more that spark the senior’s curiosity and sign up. Don’t forget to check out physical fitness classes too! A variety of exercise programs geared specifically to older adults can be found at the local gym or YMCA.
  • Attend religious services. Many seniors stayed away from religious services during the pandemic. As it becomes safer to venture out, religious organizations are a great way to both build faith and friendships, often offering weekday programs and study groups in addition to worship services.
  • Get involved virtually. There are countless opportunities to meet others remotely – even more so since the pandemic caused us to think outside of the box. From online games to yoga to learning new languages, whatever the interest, there’s likely a virtual version available!

Once engaging in new activities such as these, it can still be challenging to know how to bridge the gap from an acquaintance to a friend. Help the senior remember that more than likely, everyone else in the room is feeling the same trepidation and self-consciousness to some degree. With those playground children in mind, encourage the senior to make the first move to start a friendly, welcoming conversation. Sometimes all it takes is one person brave enough to break the ice to kick off a lifelong friendship!

Our caregiving companions are great friends for seniors too! We carefully match each person with a caregiver who shares a similar personality type and interests, leading to a fast and strong bond between the two. Contact us online or call us at 727-940-3414 for a free in-home consultation to learn more!

The Keys to Happy & Healthy Aging

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It has taken nearly 80 years and a variety of research studies to produce the result: a good genetic makeup and wealth really have very little to do with our degree of joy. The Harvard Study of Adult Development launched in 1938, looking into the lives of high-profile participants such as Ben Bradlee and John F. Kennedy. Over the years, it has been expanded to add inner-city residents along with offspring from the original Harvard elite, and the outcomes were unexpected, to say the least.

It was established that the most effective predictors of a long and happy life were not genetics, IQ, finances, fame, or social class but quite simply close relationships. Robert Waldinger, director of the research study and a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital as well as a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, shares, “The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80. Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.” 

Psychiatrist George Vaillant, who spearheaded the study from 1972 until 2004, shared in his book “Aging Well: Surprising Guideposts to a Happier Life from the Landmark Harvard Study of Adult Development,” the factors that forecast healthy aging:

  •     The absence of smoking and alcohol abuse
  •     Physical activity
  •     Mature mechanisms in place to manage difficulties in life
  •     Sustaining a healthy weight
  •     Having a stable marriage

In a nutshell, self-care is crucial for senior health – both mentally and physically – and devoting time and effort to making your relationships the best they can be most certainly falls under that umbrella as well. As a matter of fact, subsequent scientific studies have uncovered that the satisfaction level men and women experience in their relationships is an even better determinant of what their physical health is likely to be later in life than physical factors like cholesterol levels. 

The research also upended prior thinking that our personalities are set in stone by age 30. Many people who encountered difficulties in their early adult years enjoyed fulfilling later years, while others excelled early in life but ran into challenges in later years because of mental health issues and alcoholism. 

The research study is ongoing, looking into its third and fourth generations, as researchers believe there is still more to understand, such as how to better regulate stress and whether a hard childhood makes a difference in middle age and later years.

Let Generations at Home’s compassionate caregivers help instill joy in an older adult’s life; reach out to us today! Our caregivers serve as friendly companions to engage in exercise, conversations, and enjoyable activities together, cultivating socialization and additional relational connections. You can reach us 24/7 at 727-940-3414 to arrange a complimentary in-home consultation to learn more.